Have you ever wonder why in such a happy occasion that is the Holiday Season, stress level rises to level that would make sick the most tempered person?
- Don’t you want everything to be perfect? But Why?
- Don’t you want to find the “perfect” gift for every body?
- Don’t you have 60 family members descending on your home over the holiday period and you have to be calm and relax and the “perfect” host?
- Don’t you have to deal with tired cranky kids on top of your own exhaustion, and you want them to be happy? After all, it is the end of the year for everybody….
If you have answered YES to any of those questions, if it is likely that Perfection is your Goal. And I am here to tell you that you are setting yourself up for failure…. Think about it!
CAN YOU HAVE A HOLIDAY SEASON WITHOUT STRESS INVOLVED?
Yes, it is an intense period even if you decide that this year, you will simplify! All the magazines urge you to simplify, to use simple recipes, to find easy gifts for the whole family…. They very nicely give you tipS to find inner peace in all this chaos… But realistically can you?
Because let’s face it! The holiday season is chaos! Routines go out the window, expectations are high for everybody and when stress is high, our worse method of coping reappear… If only everything was perfect, I could relax….
BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
If you have answer yes to at least one of those questions, know that you are not alone. And when overwhelmed, it is easy to reverse to the idea that if everything was to go perfectly, then you would be relaxed and stress free….
But perfection is impossible to achieve, because we are human…. But if perfection is not attainable (at least without a high level amount of stress), it is actually an excellent excuse to bit yourself up!
Yes it is!
What is the chance that considering all the relatives descending on your house, with all the kids and all the presents and everything else, what is the chance that nothing goes wrong? Honestly? Close to Zero!
So why stress about something that is most certain to happen? A disaster that is! Well because when we are overwhelmed, we tense up, this is quite a normal behaviour for most people. Ad if, adding tension to an already tensed situation is going to help it!
So, you would ask, what should we do?
Well, for one, give up once and for all, the idea that you have to do everything perfectly. Honestly, our desire for perfection stems from a fear: Fear of not being (good) enough and/or fear of not being loved if we are not performing perfectly. But will people really judge you if you do your best and if you are not as stressed as ever over a happy occasion? Will people really not love you because something that is not under your control goes awry? Really?
Most likely the question is going to be NO, of course not! Then, now that you are aware of that hang up of yours, it is time to LET GO OF IT! It is even likely that people will like you even more if you are not a complete stress case and they don’t have to walk on egg shell around you, in order to avoid the inevitable explosion that will relax you…. And they will love you more for that! SO It is time! LET IT GO!
GET SOME HELP!
If, on the other hand, while you know intellectually that nobody is judging you and nothing terrible is going to happen if you just accept to do your best and only your best, then, it might be time to consider why you have such hang ups and consider getting some help to deal with it. Long term stress can be detrimental to your health and it could be the best present you could give yourself: Get some help to GIVE UP PERFECTION.
And if you don’t have a lot of success with this, maybe it is time to get in touch with Joëlle’s Practice to get expert help. You can click here to get in touch. We are here to help you!
Enjoy the Holiday Season!