In previous posts, I have touched upon the need for accountability that will allow you to “stick with a decision” and “follow it through” thanks to the need to report back to your coach. I have also touched upon the idea that a coach can be an external, neutral set of eyes that will help you reach a decision that could be otherwise overwhelming by offering a different and often simpler (because it is devoid of any emotional baggage) perspective to the situation You are faced with.
Today I would like to talk about the specific role of an EFT coach. As I mentioned in another part of this website, EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique can be self applied. You don’t need to be a specialist or to have access to a coach to tap. Bellow you will see a video by Jessica Ortner from “The tapping solution” that will teach you the points and how to proceed. You will see it is very simple!
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So… I can hear you say, “If it is that easy, why do I need your help to proceed?”
In theory, you don’t need to, except that Nature has set us up to proceed with a lot of caution and has made sure that we will not be knowingly overwhelmed.. a “built-in” self preservation mechanism…. We all have it! It can be stronger or weaker, depending on one’s life experience, but no matter what, it is always present. It is why after you get burn by an open flame, you know not to get too close… It is the warning sign that forces you to stop before getting too close to the side of the cliff… And so on and so forth…
Those are very practical and necessary examples, but here is another one and you will understand the power of that self-preservation mechanism.
A person, let’s call him Jake is caught in a car accident. He was in the passenger’s seat at the time, the driver lost control of the vehicle and they ended up on the side of the road. Nobody was injured but Jake was very affected by the feeling of complete loss of control while the car was spinning to the side of the road… After a few days, Jake is driving again and has no problem with it. He quickly forgets about the accident all together… Then a few months later, he is picked up by a friend to go to an event and Jake finds himself having to sit in the passenger’s seat again… He does not think about it, jumps in the car and the driver gets going… However, Jake starts feeling rather uncomfortable, he is uneasy and when his friend has to break at a stop light, Jake experiences a full on panic attack. He can not stand the situation of having no control of the vehicle. Jake asks his friend to take him back home. After a few minutes at home, Jake is better and finally he decides to drive to join the event later that day without any incident.
Perplexed by the situation, Jake goes on to the internet and discovers EFT, the miracle technique! So he does the tapping, using the set up phrase along the line of “this car accident” and he tries to keep his mind on the accident. That proves a little complicated, but after a few rounds, he is very happy, his anxiety when it comes to the accident itself is greatly reduced. And he thinks that it is a good technique after all.
So the next day, he tries out his new-found relaxed state and jumps in the car with the same friend, and he does not feel too uncomfortable to start with. If he is honest, he does feel a little anxious. And the moment, Jake’s friend steps on the break, the panic attack comes back full force….
Jake is really disappointed. The magical technique did not work! He gives up as quickly as he started and over time, he will develop avoidance mechanism or coping mechanism to help him avoid panic attacks. Jake always drives everywhere, he refuses to go along with friends to and from…
Did the technique fail? No, I don’t think so, Jake did experience an improvement in his emotion toward the incident. Did he use the method in a wrong way? No, there is no real right or wrong way. The technique is that simple!
What was the problem then?
Well, Jake’s brain during the accident experienced a strong emotional response, not unsurprisingly, and that emotional response was negative. It created a new neuronal path way in Jake’s brain, which means that every time he is in the passenger’s seat of a car, his brain immediately screams “DANGER!!!!” And because Jake seemingly does not pay attention and removes himself from the situation, the brain “provokes” a panic attack to get Jake safe and out of harm’s way…
Because of this automatic response, Jake can not face even remembering the incident on his own. His brain prevents him from doing so, by creating distraction to avoid relieving the incident. And because in order for EFT to be really efficient, it is necessary to focus on the very specific of the incident, EFT can not really efficient in that case.
So can an EFT coach really help?
Again the answer is “YES”. In this specific situation, an EFT coach would be like having a life line while you are crossing a dangerous bridge. You are still experiencing the dangerous situation but you feel safer because of the life line. Well, it will be the same with a coach. You will still have to face the negative/anxiety producing emotion or event, but you will have the coach as a life line to help you to the other side. The coach will also serve as a guide to the other side. He or she will guide you to safety but making sure that all the emotions are taking care of in the process.
In Jake’s case, it would be useful for Jake to have somebody, kind of emotional life guard, to help him face the incident and the memories attached to it. This person is there to “ground” Jake and to give him support while he is facing the memories and the emotions that are attached to them.
There are many techniques that can be used to help Jake face those memories. It would be too long to explain them here. But usually, the EFT coach will be able to address most of the situation in an hour long session. During that session, the EFT coach will address the negative emotions stored at the time of the accident and those that have been created over time.
Could he do it on his own?
Yes, I have no doubt that with commitment and perseverance, Jake would be able to achieve similar results. But it will most likely require a very long time and a lot of efforts. However it can be done. Positive results are not guaranteed and it could be more disheartening than not.
This is why if you feel overwhelmed by a situation, or are experiencing panic attacks or anxiety when confronted with a situation, it is very important to try to remember to tap on the situation when it occurs to lower your stress response to a manageable level and to reach out to an EFT coach in order to get to the bottom of this over reaction in order for you to remove of those unwanted reaction and reach a calmer way of handling what life has in store for you….
If you are stuck and need help or if you are ready to face that stubborn negative emotion, then contact me and we will get You in a better place in no time! Promise! 🙂
Talk to you very soon
Joëlle @ Joëlle’s Practice